As the George Clooney movie Up in the Air demonstrates, people react differently to losing their job. When I lost my position with a firm after 22 yrs, there was a brief sense of excitement just thinking about the chance to pursue new career opportunities. That excitement was quickly overshadowed by panic. I was fortunate enough to have the security of a healthy severance package and benefits that would carry me and my family for the next year. However, my main concern was to get another job as soon as possible so I was surprised to see how many individuals I met in the firm’s outplacement center who appeared comfortable with the option of taking time off before starting the job hunt. I envied their ability to remain calm.
My unemployed status began May 2009. In preparation for this foreign experience called “ job search” I worked on my career plan, while trying to enjoy the first summer off with my children who were 14, 12 and 8 years old. Within the first couple of months, I drafted my resume, researched new industry options (trying to image my dream job), scheduled networking meetings, and began addressing skill gaps with training I thought I would need for my next role. Not a week went by that I did not carry out activities within my job search plan. I tried to relax but the fact that I needed to get back to work (for various reasons) was always in the back of my mind. It would have been nice to take a long exotic vacation but there is a balance between taking advantage of time off and conserving funds to pay down debt while putting some cash away to get you through a potential long period of unemployment.
Now that my one year anniversary of unemployment is here, I find satisfaction in reflecting on this time and what I accomplished. I filled my time by helping at many of my childrens school events, working on fundraising event committees, hanging out with old friends and joined the tennis team at the pool, going to every one of my daughter’s sporting events (including an incredible girls HS basketball season), helping a neighbor get her new non-profit organization off the ground, spending more time with my 85 year old mother, painted the family room, worked at the US Open, established an exercise regime and in general connected more with the daily flow of our family life. I also invested in improving my skills with several Social Media classes and 2 mini-MBA programs at Rutgers. Along the unemployment journey I met many wonderful people who I now consider good friends and have developed a deeper level of empathy for anyone who loses their job.
I truly believe everything in life happens for a reason. Although losing my job was a difficult blow, the time spent while unemployed has made my life richer. The one regret I do have is that I did not mentally relax more. Letting myself just wholly enjoy the time is very difficult given my personality. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a complete basket case. I do have periods where I feel great about my time off and relish in the absence of the non-ending pressures of a job.
My advice to others : try your best to let go, do as many of those things (as feasible) you didn’t have time to do when you were working and stop to truly appreciate the time between jobs. You deserve it.
The bad news is I am still seeking the right job opportunity. The good news is I still have time to follow my own advice!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Identity crisis: working professional or stay-at-home mom
After 22 years as a faithful, hard working employee at a global financial services firm, last spring my job was eliminated. Once the initial shock wore off, I decided I would try to enjoy some time with my family while I searched for my next role, naively assuming that would take a couple of months. However, despite an active job search and working with my former employer's outplacement team, the process has dragged on much longer than I ever anticipated, even for this terrible market.
Prior to my "displacement" my identity was clear. I was a working mother, with a husband and three daughters. I knew my routine, my schedule was fairly predictable so I knew what I could commit to and what I could not, how much money was coming in so we understood what we could and could not afford.
I envied stay-at-home moms (although I was always realistic that neither role was easy) and assumed they did "lunch", played tennis or bridge and spent hours building friendships with the other stay-at-home moms. So initially I was excited to join this group, even if it would be temporary.
Fortunately, I was always active in the PTO of each of my children's schools, active in our church, and held several committee positions. Although the time commitment was difficult, being involved was the only way I felt I could stay connected to the community and school when I spent most of my days at the office. Being active in the school and community, while I was working truly saved me from feeling completely lost, after I lost my job.
I have been out of work for almost a year and still don't identify with the title of stay-at-home mom. I spend my days in job search mode by researching industry trends, setting up networking meetings, attending classes and applying for jobs. After I lost my job, the babysitter had to be let go and eventually the house cleaner so in between job hunting, laundry is done, house cleaned, groceries bought, meals prepared and of course children chauffeured to various activities. I will never again wonder what stay-at-home moms do with their time.
I am not a professional working mother at the moment ( I don't have a real paying job) and I am not a stay-at-home mom since I feel like I can't settle into a stay-at-home routine optimistically believe a new job is around the corner ( a feeling that is almost a year old). Perhaps I put too much emphasis on labels to help me keep things straight but old habits die hard. For now, I am a working mother in transition, enjoying the opportunity to stay-at-home with her family until the next professional chapter begins.
Prior to my "displacement" my identity was clear. I was a working mother, with a husband and three daughters. I knew my routine, my schedule was fairly predictable so I knew what I could commit to and what I could not, how much money was coming in so we understood what we could and could not afford.
I envied stay-at-home moms (although I was always realistic that neither role was easy) and assumed they did "lunch", played tennis or bridge and spent hours building friendships with the other stay-at-home moms. So initially I was excited to join this group, even if it would be temporary.
Fortunately, I was always active in the PTO of each of my children's schools, active in our church, and held several committee positions. Although the time commitment was difficult, being involved was the only way I felt I could stay connected to the community and school when I spent most of my days at the office. Being active in the school and community, while I was working truly saved me from feeling completely lost, after I lost my job.
I have been out of work for almost a year and still don't identify with the title of stay-at-home mom. I spend my days in job search mode by researching industry trends, setting up networking meetings, attending classes and applying for jobs. After I lost my job, the babysitter had to be let go and eventually the house cleaner so in between job hunting, laundry is done, house cleaned, groceries bought, meals prepared and of course children chauffeured to various activities. I will never again wonder what stay-at-home moms do with their time.
I am not a professional working mother at the moment ( I don't have a real paying job) and I am not a stay-at-home mom since I feel like I can't settle into a stay-at-home routine optimistically believe a new job is around the corner ( a feeling that is almost a year old). Perhaps I put too much emphasis on labels to help me keep things straight but old habits die hard. For now, I am a working mother in transition, enjoying the opportunity to stay-at-home with her family until the next professional chapter begins.
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