Identity crisis: working professional or stay-at-home mom

After 22 years as a faithful, hard working employee at a global financial services firm, last spring my job was eliminated. Once the initial shock wore off, I decided I would try to enjoy some time with my family while I searched for my next role, naively assuming that would take a couple of months. However, despite an active job search and working with my former employer's outplacement team, the process has dragged on much longer than I ever anticipated, even for this terrible market.

Prior to my "displacement" my identity was clear. I was a working mother, with a husband and three daughters. I knew my routine, my schedule was fairly predictable so I knew what I could commit to and what I could not, how much money was coming in so we understood what we could and could not afford.

I envied stay-at-home moms (although I was always realistic that neither role was easy) and assumed they did "lunch", played tennis or bridge and spent hours building friendships with the other stay-at-home moms. So initially I was excited to join this group, even if it would be temporary.

Fortunately, I was always active in the PTO of each of my children's schools, active in our church, and held several committee positions. Although the time commitment was difficult, being involved was the only way I felt I could stay connected to the community and school when I spent most of my days at the office. Being active in the school and community, while I was working truly saved me from feeling completely lost, after I lost my job.

I have been out of work for almost a year and still don't identify with the title of stay-at-home mom. I spend my days in job search mode by researching industry trends, setting up networking meetings, attending classes and applying for jobs. After I lost my job, the babysitter had to be let go and eventually the house cleaner so in between job hunting, laundry is done, house cleaned, groceries bought, meals prepared and of course children chauffeured to various activities. I will never again wonder what stay-at-home moms do with their time.

I am not a professional working mother at the moment ( I don't have a real paying job) and I am not a stay-at-home mom since I feel like I can't settle into a stay-at-home routine optimistically believe a new job is around the corner ( a feeling that is almost a year old). Perhaps I put too much emphasis on labels to help me keep things straight but old habits die hard. For now, I am a working mother in transition, enjoying the opportunity to stay-at-home with her family until the next professional chapter begins.